I know some black men who are attracted to black women but don’t pursue them because they think that black women aren’t interested in them. All of these guys have great jobs, went to great schools, they all are in excellent shape, they hit the gym, they play sports and party hard. But they don’t really meet black women. Their main reason is that black women “are looking for something specific”. They go on to say that black women like the “corporate thug type”; the guy that came from the hood, played sports in college, joined a frat, works out 24-7, went into the corporate world and converted their street knowledge into a huge pay check.
Yes, it sounds like a fairytale. But does this guy really exist?
Well, I also hear that this guy is pretty rare but when he does appear black women swoon and would rather fight over or share him than find a nice simple black man with a decent check.
Is this really true? Did all the black women get together and decide that they want this one specific type of man? If it is just a stereotype, where did it start? To find out, I decided to do some investigating. So I asked Google what it thinks about black women. Luckily I did get some good answers about black women, but unfortunately the word gold digger came up.
After exploring my personal relationships and experiences I figured out why black women get this nasty label put upon them:
1. Women In General Communicate Needs And Wants Differently – Women speak a different language and men have a hard time deciphering. It’s like when I do something stupid and I ask my wife what is wrong and she says nothing,and then I ask her 18 more times and she says nothing and then a week later she tells me what is wrong.
My point here has to do with my wife’s friend. She was dating this guy who doesn’t believe in God and her father is a pastor. Her father told her to leave him and she did. She met another guy who seems kind of like a loser; he didn’t have a good job and he’s basically floating around hoping something comes to him. Overall, he is kind of a slimy fellow. Well, her ex-boyfriend recently got a great job and all of a sudden she is trying to mend the relationship and get back with him.
Her main reason is that her current boyfriend is a 30-something with no career and her non-God fearing ex-boyfriend persevered, reached his goals and is making a lot of money. Is she really a gold digger? No, she says her reason for not wanting to stay with her current boyfriend is that her ex-boyfriend is making a good living. But what she really means to say is “I am dating a loser for no reason and I am really in love with my ex- who my dad made me break up with and I’d rather be with him.”
2. Black Women Have To Be Cautious – Some black men have a hard time with motivation. I’ve been there so I understand. Society tells us that we can’t really aspire to having a career unless it involves a ball, a mic or a scale. I am not clowning anybody here, because I have been there and plenty of my friends are still there.Unfortunately way too many sisters have been burned by these types of guys.
He’s sitting around waiting on a record deal or for his friend to get into the NBA so that he can have money. Meanwhile, time is wasting away. She is saying we can’t even go out to dinner, and the guy reads that as “I want a free meal from a man”. No, she really wants to spend some quality time with YOU!
3. White Women Are Gold Diggers Too – For some reason a white gold digger just gets looked at differently. She is looked at as a singular being, if she is beautiful and blonde, she is treated like she has the right to be a gold digger. It’s like she probably couldn’t do anything else but use her looks to get paid. If a black woman is a gold digger she is a coniving b**** and she also represents all black women.
4. Women Crave Security – All women like to wake up in the morning knowing that their job is steady, their bills are paid, their man loves them and their house is clean. So when a black woman questions a man to find out where his head is at, it immediately sound like gold digging. No, she is looking for a secure man. Is that too much to ask for?
5. Fear Of Baby Mama Status - Sadly, a lot of women have seen what their mother’s went through; raising children on one income, struggling to get by or watching them get abused by a bad father. Coupled with the images of black man in the news, in music, videos and in movies. The fear of a black man turning a woman into a baby mama is at an all time high! Again, women have to move cautiously.