• “He Accused Me Of Stealing Just So He Could Break Up With Me”

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    You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

    Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

    Dear Gay Best Friend,

    I met this guy online a few months ago. Initially we seemed to be really connected. Laughing and dancing and all. I was thinking that I lucked up. I messed up when I got intimate with him. Things were still good, but slowly we got disconnected.

    At first I would be intimate and leave in the middle of the night. I just wasn’t comfortable staying the night. He would ask me often to stay and would get mad when I didn’t. Then one night I decided to stay. Things were good, I was able to sleep the entire night, however a few days later he sends me a text message telling me that his bracelet was missing. I didn’t know how to react to that. I would never steal and this was not the first time that I had been to his house so it hurt me that he would insinuate that I would steal. Downright hurtful. Now, he is no longer responding to my calls and or text message. He knows that I would never take from him. I feel that he just decided that he didn’t want to continue the relationship, and he conjured up some story about the bracelet so that he could end it. I want him to tell me why his feelings have changed, but I don’t want to appear as if I am a stalker. I was told that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but I don’t want to look like an idiot either. Should I stop calling and let sleeping dogs lie? I also left some clothes and toiletries at his house, but I don’t want to call and ask for them to look petty. What should I do? – Hurt And Confused

    “I Love My Wife, But I Get High Because She Won’t Fulfill My One Desire”

    Dear Ms. Hurt And Confused,

    Come on girl. Fess up and tell the truth. You took the bracelet, didn’t you? You didn’t intentionally steal it. You just wanted a small token of him and the bracelet was lying there and you tried it on and forget you put it on. Go on girl and admit it. I knows you stole it. I seent you! LMBAO! I’m just kidding with you.

    Uhm, here’s the thing sweetie, I’m not sure what happened, and neither do you, but as you stated you didn’t take the bracelet. He could have misplaced it, or one of his other tricks robbed him and with so many women coming and going out of his place he doesn’t know what day and time it went missing and since you were probably the last woman at his spot he blamed you. Regardless of what happened, it’s over. The relationship is done. He has shown you who he is and he’s done it without a solid explanation. He’s cold, shallow, and doesn’t think much of you. I mean come on, sweetie, the man sent you a text message saying his bracelet was missing. He’s not even man enough to call you. Why do you want to waste your time with someone who clearly is intimidated by you and without a spine? Girl, he’s a buster, a loser, and he needs to have his nuts cut off. Snip, snip!

    I understand you feel hurt and betrayed. Girl, I feel for you, but uhm, you need to go sit in the corner and put your head down. How dare you say, ‘anything worth having is worth fighting for?’ Miss Thang you only knew the man a few months and on top of that you met him online! Talking about all this damn connection you two had; laughing, dancing, and all that kee-keeing. Girl, miss me, see you later, and arrivederci. What you fighting for? Huh? Tell me, damn it! Tell me! You need to be fighting yourself and punch yourself in the back of the neck. You didn’t have a connection with this man. You didn’t even know him. You up here spreading your legs instead of spreading your mind and learning who he was. Chile, you better get some education and learn to love you first, and stop jumping in the bed with these clowns and their big red shoes. Now don’t you feel foolish? Hell, you should. Now the man isn’t returning any of your calls or texts, and accuses you of stealing. Hot damn! He didn’t even know you either, because if he did, and the two of you got to know one another, then he wouldn’t be making these allegations. Right?

    I love how you take the blame and say, “I messed up when I got intimate with him.” You damn skippy. If you don’t know him, then don’t sleep with him. I don’t care how horny, desperate, and eager you are to please a man, hold off and wait. You noticed how things began to change once the two you got in the bed. You noticed his behavior slowly becoming different. As I always say, “Pay attention to the tell-tale signs because folks will always reveal their true colors.” And, he revealed all  of his, yet you still kept creeping over there. Well, it’s a lesson learned. Don’t beat yourself up over it, and don’t make yourself wrong. Forgive yourself and don’t let it happen again. Don’t be foolish and naive to think that just because you’re sleeping with a man you’ve only known a few months that he loves you, cares about you, or knows you.

    Look, Ms. Hurt And Confused, it’s over. Move on and get you some business, and a life. I hope those clothes and toiletries didn’t set you back. I know it’s a recession and all, but you shouldn’t have been leaving things at his house in the first place. You were trying to stake claim in this man and leave things at his home to let other females know you had him on lock. NOT! He tricked your hot tail behind. He put a stop to it and now you’re whining and trying to figure out how to get him back, and your things you left at his house. Girl, leave them there. Let him have them, and the memories of what was. Trust me, he is going to find his bracelet and then he is going to do one or two things. Either he is going to call you and tell you he’s sorry and that he shouldn’t have blamed you. Or, he is not going to call and do the accidental call and say, “I didn’t know this was you.” Chile, BYE!  Get your big girl Victoria Secretions panties on, buy some new toiletries, and pump it down the runway of life. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

    Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

    Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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