Send your questions to Terrance: email@example.com
Dear Gay Best Friend,
It’s been just about 4 years since I’ve been engaged in an on again-off again relationship with my now-baby’s father.
When we first meet it was 2006 I had just gotten out of a long relationship and he was still with his high school sweetheart of 4 years. After he told me him and his girlfriend broke up, we began a “friends with benefits” relationship – at least that’s how it started. It wasn’t until a year later – before I found out I was pregnant – that I learned that him and his girlfriend hadn’t broken up, but that she was away at college. This made me think back to some weekends I wouldn’t hear from him. Anyway, we’ve been going back and forth since then trying to decide if we want to be a family or go our separate ways and be the best parents we can without being together. This last time we broke up was September 2010. We were a couple and living together but he decided he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to play with my emotions. “He wasn’t in love with me,” was what he told me. There wasn’t anymore “friends with benefits,” either.
Now 3 months later. he wants me back, but as “friends with benefits” again. I told myself I wouldn’t settle with him again until he knows exactly what he’s looking for. But a girl has needs and it’s been a little while. Am I fooling myself by thinking I can have just a sexual relationship with someone I loved for nearly 3 years and have a child with? Should I keep it moving and make him suffer?
It just seems so much easier to continue something with someone who I am already close with. I’m not into bringing different men around my daughter which is why I haven’t really been dating. But I’m tired of the games my baby’s daddy is playing. I can’t lie, he has matured a lot more since we first met, but I guess not enough if he’s willing to only want a booty call with the mother of his child. I am eager to know what you think and if you’re confused about anything, I know you have no problem asking. What should I do and do I already know? – Ms. Confused
Dear Ms. Confused,
I just let out a long and deep — SIGH! I’ve dropped my head, slowly turned from the computer and walked away. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you would continue a “friends with benefits” relationship with the child’s father or mother, even though they’ve told you that they did not love you?
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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!