Send your questions to Terrance: email@example.com
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I know…I know…you’ve heard it before. I’ve been dating a married man for…(drum roll) 7 years. It started as a casual fling. I was in the middle of a separation. I believed he was too. But, somehow, it never happened for him. He said his wife came down with cancer and could not leave her at such a time.
After 7 years and more excuses, I’m completely divorced from my ex and he is still…MARRIED. He says, “I’m the love of his life,” though. In the meantime, I’m mostly alone on the holidays and miserable. I have to admit, I love him a lot and have broken it off, many, many times. But he always knows how to come back, after I finally get him out of my system, and reclaim me.
Well, I’ve broken it off again, and hopefully, he will stay away this time, and we can finally close this chapter. I’ve just turned 40, and feel like I have a lot to offer in a real relationship. Not sure if I feel like dating. I think I need to make some lifestyle adjustments, but, after dealing with this toxic relationship for so many years, I feel depleted. What do you suggest? Former Mistress
Dear Ms. Former Mistress,
You really want me to answer this? Really, sweetie?
You say you have a lot to offer in a real relationship. LMBAO! Chile, you really do need Jesus in your life.
And you say you’re not sure if you feel like dating? Girl, stop the MF’ing madness. How else do you expect to get into a relationship? You have to date to get to know someone and see if you are compatible. Why are you people so quick to jump in a relationship with folks without dating and getting to know them? Oh, you know what, then I wouldn’t get your letters asking for advice. But, honey, it’s obvious your past relationship didn’t teach you anything. I hope you didn’t think you were compatible with a married man?
Then you have the gall and nerve to tell me after dealing with a toxic relationship for many years you feel depleted. Yup, it’s official, you’ve officially lost your mind and are delusional. Who do you think was toxic, you or him? I’ll wait for you to answer that. Let me know when you’re done because I got another question. Finished yet? Okay, after investing 7 years into a relationship that obviously wasn’t going anywhere, and cheating on your husband, and he’s cheating on his wife, oh yeah, and I’m sure all of the emotional and mental energy spent breaking it off and getting back together, uhm, why do you think you are depleted? Again, I’ll wait for you to answer that.
And, you say you THINK you have to make some lifestyle adjustments! Hmph. Really, Ms. Thing, really? But, wait, honey, honey, honey you say you broke it off this time and hopefully he will stay away. He Stays Away? Girl, BYE! How about you stay away!
You know what Ms. Former Mistress, I really don’t have time for your foolishness or this letter. Who the hell stays with a married man for 7 years? I really don’t have anything to suggest to you but that you go into prayer, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Forgive yourself, forgive him, and ask for forgiveness from his wife, and your ex. A whole helluva lot of forgiveness. Honey, do you realize you were married and cheated on your husband, and girl, call it what you want, separation or whatever, you were still married. You stayed with a married man, and interfered with his marriage. How do you think his wife would feel if she discovered her husband was having an affair for 7 years? Don’t answer that because I know you will justify it. So, with that, I’m done with you because Karma is a fierce B***H and she’s coming for you. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you have been involved in a relationship with someone who’s married, and stayed hoping they would leave their spouse?
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!