Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Well, I seen your advice column and I said why not. I am a 32-year old female, who met and fell in love with a military man last year when he was deployed overseas. We met right before his deployment. All while he was deployed we emailed each other, called each other, I even sent him sexy pictures while he was overseas. Well, he told me he wanted me to be his woman and he could not wait till he got home to be with me. Pretty much like jail talk. When he came home from deployment I was living in Ohio, and we were in the mist of really bad dangerous blizzards. Well, I traveled from Ohio to Georgia in a blizzard to go see this man because I thought this was my man, and that is what women do for their men.
Well, I went to go see him and we had a lovely time and I thought our relationship was blossoming nicely. Well, throughout our relationship he was always mentally abusive, and always insecure. He was forever accusing me of cheating on him and said that he could not trust me and constantly made me feel like crap when all I tried to do was love this man. He had nightmares about what he had seen overseas and just had issues period, and he was a very mean man.
Well, I have a relative who lives in Georgia and I was pretty much fed up with Ohio, so I decided maybe it was time to give Georgia a try. I was thinking maybe this would bring us closer together with me and him being in the same state. Well, me being new in town, I chose to move closer to my relative because I have small children and knew my relative could be of help to me. Well, I moved about 2 hours away from my boyfriend. And he went off. He said I moved to Georgia to be with another guy and not him, or else I would have moved closer to him. That wasn’t the case. I knew that he was not going to be any help with my children based on his military work schedule, and with me being new in town. I moved where I knew people and had family.
Well, when I first got into town he blew my phone up and couldn’t wait to see me. He couldn’t wait to come get me. And, I let him. We drove the two hours to his house, had sex, and the next morning he snapped at me as usual with him always being nasty to me. We drove the two hours back to my home in silence. I was mad, but a few days later I called too se when I could see him again, and I got no response from him. I sent text after text, call after call with no response. Finally, I gave up and two weeks later I get a break up text from him. Simply stating, “It’s over and I don’t want to be with you no more.”
Well, this is like five days before Christmas. I tried to call him and he texted me back like don’t call him now. I asked him what I did and he said a little bit of nothing, and no calling and no texting. Huh? I blew his phone up and he would not respond. So, after about three days of pure hell not even being able to move off the couch, because not only am I homesick, I got dumped right before the holidays. So, I finally face reality that it is over. And, I send him an e-mail and tell him that I will not contact him again and that I am ready to move on. He sends me an e-mail back and says he is going overseas soon, and that he cannot trust me to be faithful, so it is best if he let me go. Well, what choice did I have at this point but to move on.
Well, on New Year’s Eve I was out with friends and met another guy in the military visiting Georgia throughout the holidays who was stationed in Texas. Well, I gave him a chance. He is a very nice guy, unlike the loser from above. And, I plan on visiting Texas in the Spring. We talk on the phone everyday and this soldier is getting deployed in June to go overseas. And, I am like here we go again. Should I give him a chance? I am really confused because I do not want to go through this same crap over again. Help I Need Some Advice ASAP. – In Love With Military Men
Dear Ms. In Love With Military Men,
Girl, I can’t. I really quit. Your letter has made me officially turn in my resignation and give up this joint. SMDH! WOW! You are truly a nut case if I’ve never read or met one. SMDH, again!
Who the hell drives across several state lines in a damn blizzard for some d**k? Really? Really! Really? But, then you decide you’d had enough of Ohio and moved yourself and your kids to Georgia for a man you barely knew, and one you said was mentally abusive, to be in a relationship with? WOW! I am speeding up your application for approval for acceptance into the All-Girl’s Slow Learning Is Our Specialty Academy. We have campuses all throughout the country, so don’t worry, we can get you into our school located in Georgia. We have over 20,000 women on campus. And, as a matter of fact, I’m going to give you a full-ride scholarship. So, pack your bags and be on the corner of Dumb Street and Stupid Boulevard by 3pm. A yellow bus is going to pick you up.
It’s obvious you haven’t learned anything from the previous relationship. You truly are stuck on stupid. Girl, you have met another military man, who happens to be stationed in Texas where you plan on visiting in the Spring? Hmph! Let me guess. You’re pretty much tired and over Georgia and you’ve been thinking of moving to Texas for a while, and wow, guess what, you just happened to meet a man who lives in the very place you plan on moving to. What a f*****g coincidence! Oh, and he is being deployed in June, so you better hurry up and get there because you want to consummate your relationship before he leaves and you can start this madness over again with him of writing and sending him letters and naked pictures of yourself while he is overseas. SMDH! You say you’re 32-years old, right? Honey, you really are koo-koo for CoCo Puffs.
You know what’s sad about all of this? You are dragging your kids with you to all this various places, uprooting them, and introducing them to these random men in your life, exposing them to your silly and foolish antics because you’re d**k hungry. So sad. But, like a friend once told me, “D**k is addictive.” And, he ain’t never lied. I’ve known women to do things far beyond what you’ve done just for some man meat.
Look, Ms. In Love With Military Men, these men obviously know a sucker when they see one, and you have it written on your forehead in big bold black marker – “Pick me! Pick me! Sucker over here.” The first military man used you and kept you around only to satisfy his needs and wants. You kept him company while he was overseas writing love letters and sending naked pictures of yourself, (You’re just nasty and trifling), and when he came home, you were the trick he knew he could hit it and quit it without any repercussions. Chile, I can’t believe you were blowing up his phone with text messages and phone calls when he told you it was over. Really, Ms. Thang? Let me break this down for you and all the other people out there reading this – When someone wants to leave your life, honey, let them go. Give them the two finger peace sign and let them be out! Why are you falling out and carrying on because they don’t want to be with you? It ain’t worth it, and be glad they eliminated themselves from your life. Trust me, you can do better, but you got to know better. And, darling, you obviously don’t know any better. You don’t know who you are, what your value is, or your worth. You are so quick to uproot and pick up your life for a man you barely know, and who demonstrates behaviors that are inappropriate, yet you ignore them and engage in sexual relationships with them to satisfy your longing loneliness. You know what’s sad about you and so many others? You don’t know that you’re lonely. You think you are alone. But, being alone means you can enjoy being with yourself and appreciate being alone and your life is not dependant on someone satisfying you and fulfilling a void in your life. But, when you’re lonely, you will do things such as drive several states in a blizzard for some companionship, and then uproot your life and your children’s life and move to where they are, and allow yourself to be abused by another person because you’ve confused loved with crazy. Honey, you were no more of that man’s woman than you are your own woman. Get your life in order because it’s obvious you don’t have a career, notice I said career and not job, because I don’t know anyone who can pick up and move like that if they have a career. And, you don’t own a home. Chile, what do you own? You sure as hell don’t own your mind because you allow men to fill it with nonsense and … wait a minute, is that I just passed you standing on the corner of Dumb Street and Stupid Boulevard with your suitcase? – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you have done bizzare things for someone, and what were they?
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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!