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Dear Gay Best Friend,
My boyfriend says that he loves me, but he is not in love with me. We have been together for almost 5 years and he says that he is unhappy. He told me that he would have broken up with me a year ago, but I got cervical cancer and he wanted to see me through it, but now he is just unhappy with life. He said that he does not know if it is me, but he wants to take a break to see if he really wants to be alone. I cannot make without him. He is my whole world and there is no one in my life that means as much to me as he does. I have asked him for therapy and he says it will not help. I have asked for time and he said that will not help either. I need help. I cannot be without him. – Don’t Know What To Do
Dear Ms. Don’t Know What To Do,
Girl, I’m sorry to hear about your cervical cancer, but you need a life.
This is what I don’t understand and I truly wish someone will please break it down for me. If someone tells you that: A.) They are not in love with you. B.) They are unhappy in the relationship. C.) They want to take a break. D.) And, they are not willing to go to therapy. – Uhm, sweetheart, why in the hell would you want to be with someone who has clearly told you that they do not want to be with you? Why in the hell would you beg, plead and hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to? SMDH!
I mean, really, girl, you can’t be without him? He is your whole world? WOW! Wait a minute…what is that smell? Oh, that is your cheap perfume wreaking through the computer. I told you women about wearing that Eau D’ Toilet Water Perfume mixed with desperation, loneliness, and pure dumbness. Never, ever, ever make someone your whole world when you are an option for them. Never make someone feel, or think, that you couldn’t live without them.
If someone wants to walk away, let them go! Please, please, please let them leave. Stop trying to hold on, drawing it out, and bending over backwards making yourself look like a damn fool. Ain’t no d**k in the world that damn good you can’t let it go.
But, you know what, I am making a public service announcement today. After all the letters I’ve received over the past year, I have come to the conclusion that the most dangerous drug in the world is: D**K. Yes. I am declaring that D**K is the most dangerous drug. After getting it, you can’t stop yearning for it. You need it. You desire it. And, you will do anything to get your fix. And, after you get your fix, you want more of it. D**K will have you doing things you never thought you would do. People have moved folks into their homes, bought things, messed up their credit, lost friends and family members, and even moved across country for some D**K. I’ve even known people who have fought, argued, and killed over D**K. And, I’ve seen folks stalk, and even cry over D**K. Yes, it’s a serious drug and once you’re hooked it’s hard to get off the drug.
And, it’s clear to me that you have gotten some good D**K. Girl, look how you’re behaving. SMDH! You are over there scratching your arms, rubbing in between your legs, around your mouth, and caressing your chest. I know you are. I don’t have to be there I can tell by your letter.
So, here is the thing, Ms. Don’t Know What To Do, you’re going to get into rehab and detox yourself of the D**K and this man. You need to get involved with you, and love you. Perhaps a good church environment, and a spiritual cleanse will help you open up and see yourself, and value your own worth instead of making this man your whole world. Get you some friends, go out on the town, and start enjoying life. And, let’s get one thing straight, ole’ bald head ass D**K addict, he don’t want to be with you. He doesn’t want time, therapy, or any of your suggestions. Girl, he doesn’t want your ass! Stop it! Stop the whining, crying, and throwing tantrums trying to get him to be with you. The more you beg and plead, the further you push him away. And, darling, your man is already gone. He doesn’t see you. He has no vision for you. Do you understand what I’m saying? YOU DON’T EXIST TO HIM! Ugh! Move the “F” on and get you some business called mind your own. And peep the video below – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!
Beyonce – Me, Myself, and I