The institution of marriage is perfect. God created it. What is not perfect are the husband and the wife. The husband and wife are not perfect because they were once boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating is ruining marriages. Shoot boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are lasting longer than marriages these days. Bad girlfriends are allowing boyfriends to extend relationships beyond the time it takes to get a college education. (Notice that I did not say bad boyfriends. He can’t be too bad if she is staying.) Remember ladies, DATE MORE & LEAVE EARLIER!
Man and woman are developing bad habits during dating that they are taking into marriage. What I am finding is that men are going into marriages lacking operational principles. The three most prominent principles they are missing are leadership, financial management and communication principles. For women it is not so much the principles that are missing as it is the self respect. I am meeting too many women that would rather be married than respected by their man. (If he don’t respect you, he is not your man, he is your male and male can be delivered to any address.)
The single man is doing whatever he wants to do. He maybe dating a woman that he really likes but then a disagreement occurs and instead of working through that disagreement and coming up with a compromise, he just leaves. He leaves under the assumption that the woman is the one that’s crazy. Men, if your woman is crazy then you drove her to craziness! I believe a good man will resolve all of the issues of a woman. Love your woman right and I assure you that you won’t have a problem with her.
Single men are not developing the skills necessary while dating to be successful at marriage. The average single man is not preparing for marriage. They are not seeking out other successfully married men for guidance and advice. They are not fully aware of the amount of love necessary to keep the wife happy. Here is a barometer fellas:
1.) God 2.) Wife 3.) Wife 4.) Open 5.) Everyone Else.
Marriages would survive if men adopted a good leadership principle.
My principle is, “All relationships and marriages are either successful or they fail based solely on the leadership of the man.” Men set the tone of the relationship. Men set the direction of the marriage. It starts with the man. Men are competitive in everything in life except the longevity of their marriage. I challenge all of my friends right here and right now: NO ONE WILL BE MARRIED LONGER THAN ME! And that includes death because studies show that you live longer when you are happily married. My wife and I are going to be married at least 100 years! We will be married those 105 or so years because I have adopted a leadership principle.
That leadership principle is that if anything goes wrong in our marriage it is my fault. When our marriage was bad, we spent a lot of time pointing fingers at eat other. I spent too much energy trying to explain to her why I was right and she was wrong. (I was probably wrong.) I spent so much time thinking about our disagreement that it just became easier to raise my hand and say, “It is my fault honey.” Then I could apologize, make my 2-3 points, hear her piece and SQUASH IT!!!! A leader is not afraid of taking on responsibility. A man with good leadership principles is not as concerned with the problem as they are concerned with the solution.
Once men tackle and beat their leadership issues next up is financial management. Financial principles are the foundational methods that a man uses to spend, save and invest money. I developed my financial principles because I have way too many conversations with men complaining about money. Here is a scenario that I had recently with a man:
RelationshipBeast: If you knew that house was too much for you to be able to afford comfortably then why did you let her talk you into buying it?
Dude: She really loved that house. I wanted to make her happy.
RelationshipBeast: If you have financial principles it is easier to stick to a budget. Don’t come crying now about the expenses when you approved them. Since you did not have a financial principle, now you have a financial problem. Stop blaming her and blame the leadership in charge – YOU! Go figure it out!