Nothing is more intoxicating than dating a toxic guy. You know – the ones you would never introduce to your family for fear of being scorned; the guy who doesn’t come to the door to get you for your date, but instead lays on the horn of his sports car with adult-labeled ‘noise music’ blaring. These guys are a part of almost every girl’s dating history, and something that usually manifests around the age of 16. I, personally, always assumed that girls like assholes and women like men; that is, as women mature, they will naturally want someone who can offer them more. However, I have friends who are well into their early and mid- twenties and still dating the bad boy who will never turn good. Looking at my own dating history (and cringing), I have to wonder: why are the bad boys so tempting?
Bad boys are certainly our modern-day forbidden fruit. Every girl knows that when you start dating a bad boy, your relationship will most likely play out as predictably as clockwork. First, you will fall (and fall hard) for his rough edges, constantly convincing yourself that he will change. (Girls, men are not like wine; they do not get better with age. Your relationship is usually at its best in the beginning!) This is quickly followed by the inevitable heartbreak. Yet, for some reason, bad boys are like drugs. Once you take one, all you want is more and more, in order to replicate that first euphoric experience. And as soon as you go cold turkey, not a day goes by that you don’t crave them, even if it is damaging to yourself.
Perhaps it is the innate female tendency to change and help these bad boys. All women want to be ‘that girl’ who can make him renounce all of his bad vices, but it’s hard to recognize one cold fact: No matter how hard we try, girls can’t make bad boys into J.Crew-wearing, flower-bringing men. Perhaps women date bad boys for the same reason we wear high heels. Because even though we are well aware when we slip on a pair of 4-inch stilettos that we are actually doing real damage to the bones and tissues of our feet, as well as our backs, and will be cursing the heels in about four hours, we wear these shoes because of the way they make us feel. We walk with a little more attitude, and we feel more desirable and like a wanton goddess. Bad boys have the same effect because they make us feel nirvana in the beginning and then inevitably we end up cursing and crying about them.
Standard rule of thumb; if you spend more time worrying if your guy is cheating on you, or you spend more time crying over him than laughing with him, you’ve got yourself a bad boy. So, from me to you: run for your life!