I came across an article that my girl Ronnette of Per Diem Newyork shared on Facebook entitled, “Are you dating a man or a Boy?” So of course I read it and shared it on my FB page because of the dopeness factor. I was then challenged to write a rebuttal, a mini manual let’s call it, for men that would give them guidelines to distinguish between the calibers of women they were dating. Now I absolutely abhor the word, “chicken head”. I know we all come into our own at different times in life but let’s be quite honest there are a lot of us, male and female, who need to step up our own games in order to attract a better quality partner. That’s right, this list isn’t to bash anyone or put anyone down for acting a certain way, it’s to point out definitive factors that separate the girls from the women, and I’m sure there are things on this list we could all work on.
- Women Do Not Always Have To Be Right: Sadly enough this cuts down like 50% of the ‘women’ over the age of 25. A woman while confident in her opinions and beliefs will willingly listen to and accept that others will not share the same opinion and be able to keep peace throughout the storm. A chickenhead will become verbally aggressive to get her point across, through and to the bitter death. Annnnd although she may know that she is right will let her partner feel as though he is because men are allowed to have one victory out of ten #womancode #menthankmelater
- Women Refrain From Putting Others Down: Let’s face it we all do a little people bashing from time to time but a woman knows her limitations and frankly has more important matters to attend to. A chickenhead will spend an ample amount of time preaching from her holier than thou pulpit, until your ears ache.
- Women Live Within Their Means: Men, many of the other women you dated may have demanded coach purses and toted around Louis this and Gucci that, but a woman with a firm grip on her personal finances would rather see her money grow then put on a show.
- Women Have Hobbies and Are Active in Extra-curricular Activities: It’s not that chickenheads don’t have hobbies or extra-curricular activities; they usually just don’t involve things you can speak about with the family over dinner.
- Women Take An Interest In Learning About Others: Although collecting model cars may not be her thing, she will do her best to learn about the activity in order to know more about you.
- Women Do Not Accept The Victim Role: This is a tough one and relates back to #1. One of the most definitive factors between a girl and a woman is that a woman knows how to move on after tragedy. This means that she seeks out help, is willing to work through her issues and refuses to wallow in them.
- Women Put Family First: A woman will sacrifice splurging on a brand new leather tee, Watch the Throne concert, and a day at the spa to have QT with her folks, or her children. She recognizes that men, an active nightlife and an all-inclusive vacation are things that flail in comparison to her loved ones.
- Women Love Themselves: This is also a difficult concept to grasp because intangible but a woman who loves herself carries herself with the utmost respect and grace. She gives off an aura of confidence that is more contagious than it is pretentious or unattainable. People feel comfortable in her presence and want to be around her.
- Women Know When To Say No: I’ll be real with you I got this from that Raheem Devaughan joint, ‘Woman’ but it’s so true. A woman recognizes when a man isn’t ready to love her the way she deserves to be loved and has the strength and dignity to tell you no. Her value system is so intact that she has no problem turning down a man’s pre-mature yet charming advances.
- Women Willingly Sacrifice Appearance: This is a major one. With our society being so commercialized and superficial a woman who can sacrifice getting regular mani and pedis or going on shopping trips to make ends meet or to save up for that new house or all inclusive vacation has come into her own. It’s not that she isn’t materialistic, because she may very well love and deserve her regular pampering but she has the ability to see into the future and stick to a plan that requires discipline and love. Sacrifice is one of the key elements of love.
Theirs is not much in life that is guaranteed because it’s constantly evolving and we are constantly learning however, I came up with this list by observing the qualities of women who I admire and look up to. Sacrifice, be open to new experiences, and loving yourself is what separates the girls from the women. Like I mentioned before it’s impossible to have everything down pact, but that’s what makes life so exciting, the struggle, the victory and the growth.
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email firstname.lastname@example.org.