Our dating experts share their thoughts on this hot topic.
(Jozen Cumming) HE SAID:
Of course you can turn a ho into a housewife. In order to do that, a man has to grow up and stop letting rap songs define what makes and doesn’t make a woman worthy of wife status.
Women should have a right to do what they want without being called a ho. It’s not wrong, what any woman does, it’s wrong they get called derogatory names for doing exactly what men want to do.
The fact is, a woman has a past, and in that past may be some things with which we don’t agree, but holding it against her to the point where we believe she can’t change or evolve? Ridiculous. We live life in stages, and a lot of women go through a ho stage, but they don’t stay there. Men go through one too, and eventually, whether a man wants to or not, he will outgrow a similar stage. For anyone who has ever skipped the ho stage, I would actually go so far as to say, they missed a very important step.
In other words, a woman who has had her ho stage arguably will become a better housewife.
Now before any of you say I’m tripping, understand something about women: The way men define a ho is usually based upon a woman’s want, need, and desire for sex. Well, as it turns out, most women have the same sexual appetite as a man, but because we’ve somehow found a way to degrade women for indulging themselves, a woman waits for a relationship before she brings out her inner ho. Once she discovers it, the woman is secure enough to explore that side of her so she will do one of two things:
1) Break up and explore it on her own.
2) Stay in the relationship and explore it behind the back of her unassuming man for the sake of keeping up the housewife persona.
Neither of these things are problems you want.
Let her get in touch with her inner ho on her own accord, and allow her to grow out of it herself. Trust me, just like a good husband will have gotten the ho out of him long before he settles down, a good woman will have done the same and changed not because of a man but because she wanted to do so herself.
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(Telisha Ng) SHE SAID:
I feel like this is a trick question, I really do. Asking whether a hoe can turn into a housewife has become irrelevant in 2012 where it’s very acceptable to be morally loose at the altar, as long as your dress is cute and your appearance is marketable. Take a look around at our favorite television shows and celebrities do I really need to call out names?
I absolutely loathe the word hoe and try to use it sparingly because I know that even the most righteous ride or die soldiers for Christ have blemishes in their past, but for argument sake I’ll play along.
It’s difficult to domesticate or simmer down a man who has a ravenous appetite if you’re the type of person who likes quick fixes. We have to remember that hoeing is not a permanent fixture on a personality but rather a constant attempt to fill a deep seeded emotional void. Don’t believe me; reach out to a local hoe. I’m confident that after 30 minutes of conversation you will find out that they have been emotionally or physically betrayed or violated at some point in their life. And trust me from experience it takes a whole lot longer for a man to heal than for a woman, besides who is to say that marriage will be the point of healing.
So you have captain save ‘em tendencies and you’re ready to go pop locking down the aisle, that’s wonderful just don’t expect a miracle overnight. When someone is ready to commit you’ll know. It’s so important to talk to the one you love about infidelity and ask the question, “what if?” You may find out that you’re both not ready for the idea of monogamy, perhaps your mate feels more comfortable with an open relationship or they may need some more time.
On the receiving end we need to be honest with ourselves. Assumptions damage relationships and my advice would be to discard the generalizations and have straight liquor no chaser conversations with your partner. Discussing an issue before an assumption clouds judgement helps put you both on the same page and set high standards for the relationship.