When was the last time you said you were sorry? Was it for something you sincerely needed forgiveness for or was it something as simple as needing to reschedule a coffee date or asking a tall man in front of you to slide over slightly so you can see the concert you paid good money for? Jezebel posted an article about women’s innate need to say “sorry” no matter how small the offense.
Of course my wheels started turning because I realized that I’m the type who apologizes even when it isn’t necessary. And I actually get a little upset if someone doesn’t apologize to me and I feel it’s needed. I can’t be alone here. I asked the rest of #TeamBeautiful if women were always saying, “I’m sorry” and they had this to say:
Leigh Davenport: A wise woman (my senior year in high school English teacher) once told me, “Sorry people are sorry! You apologize!”
This is a lesson I’ve taken with me throughout my life and one that was reinforced when I pledged my sorority in college. What’s the difference? Issuing an apology when necessary is a way to admit responsibility for an offensive. Being “sorry” is a state of being. I believe that words have power and by constantly saying “I’m sorry” you’re essentially telling yourself you should stay in a place of angst, guilt and anxiety over your wrong doings.
My advice to women is to say “I apologize” one time and move on. There’s no need to keep rehashing your missteps. Talk about the positive and productive steps you’ve taken and let those “sorry” moments fade away quickly. It’s a matter of perception, and for most, perception is reality.
Shenequa Golding: Women do say “I’m sorry” far too often. I should know, every other word out of my mouth is I’m sorry. However, I think the reason for our apologies is…well I’m not too sure. Maybe we feel as though we’re always wrong. Maybe it’s because we think we don’t want to offend someone or maybe it’s because society tells us we have to be apologetic for things men aren’t. This story is so right on time, as I’m learning how to properly assert myself in all aspects of my life. It’s a fine line, ya know. Some things are worth the “I’m sorry” while others need to be said definitely and be made more declarative.
It’s all a part of the process of being woman. Knowing when to stand strong and when to humble yourself. But we’ll get it together one day. I believe that.