A new year has begun and whether it’s challenging yourself at work, accepting a new job offer, attempting to lose weight or quit smoking, everyone is making a change in 2010.Some people have determined that this year is the year to take their personal relationships to the next level. If wondering whether or not to move in with your boyfriend, take this advice (from eHow.com & TheFrisky)
WHAT TO ASK YOURSELF FIRST:
How long have you been dating?
There are some people who moved in after a couple months of knowing each other and it worked out. For the other 98% of them, it didn’t. So be logical about it. You can’t really know all that much about someone after two months, but after a year you’ll know how often they cut their toenails, and what they do with the clippings.
How often do you hang out?
Are you one of those couples that lead two totally separate lives or do prefer to spend the majority of your time together? If you’re the latter, moving in will likely be a smooth transition. If it’s more like you see each other a couple times a week, try increasing the amount of nights you stay with each other as a sort of trial-run.
Do you want it to last forever?
Moving in because your lease is up or because it’s cheap are not good reasons to start living together. The main point of co-habitation is to take things to the next level. Some people even wait until they’re engaged. Bottom line: Don’t move in with unless you know you’re with the right person. READ MORE BELOW!
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BEFORE YOU MOVE IN:
Define your relationship. Do an emotional inventory. Make sure you are both on the same page and you are both ready to make this step. Think of why you are moving in.
Consider finances. If you are getting a brand new place and have never lived alone, you might want to budget out your expenses. Consider rent, utilities, food, transportation, furniture, repairs and other incidental costs. Decide on how you are going to split the costs.
Lay down rules. Have a plan for when issues come up. Explain some of your habits and expectations and be prepared to make some compromises.
ONCE YOU MOVE IN:
Leave yourself some space, still making time for your friends and other relationships. Get out of the house together, instead of staying cooped up. Also, have a separate study or work place where you can be alone every now and then.
Have a backup plan. It’s not pessimistic to prepare for the worst case scenario. Rather than being homeless or stuck with someone you don’t have feelings for anymore, leave yourself an out. Have some savings put away or have a contingency plan.
Integrate. If you are moving into his place and bringing all your stuff, you’re going to need to figure out how to make it a shared space. It’s unlikely that you need two coffee tables, two beds, two sofas and two TVS. You are both likely equally attached to your possessions, so work out a compromise.