• Downtime After Dating: Mourn Or Move On?

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    People deal with breakups differently: you can hold tears back all day and splurge on a carton of ice cream at night or use that energy to go out and find another.  Does it make you a bad person if you skip the sadness stage and go right onto taking on rebounds?

    I have heard both sides of this situation, and both sound pretty compelling.  On the one hand, it’s important to take some alone time and let yourself cry it out before letting your emotions go wild again.  On the other hand, you shouldn’t turn down possibly good opportunities because of something in the past.  It really comes down to whether or not breaking up is a drawn out process or if it’s just something that happens and should be dealt with quickly.

    I’ve asked for opinions from both types of people, and these were their responses:

    From the musical chairs lover- finding a new love as soon as the song stops:

    “I don’t like being single.  Even if I’m not actively dating someone or seeing them everyday I need someone to say good morning or goodnight to or else I feel lonely.  Don’t get me wrong: I get really sad after break ups.  In fact, I put my all into relationships because I appreciate the connection so much.  But rather than force myself to go through complete misery after, I keep the sadness to a minimum and keep myself busy.  Interestingly, keeping myself busy generally means meeting lots of new people.  I by no means rebound crazy hard after break ups, but I find that meeting new people is what keeps me from feeling the most depressed.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get out there again: life’s about living.”

    From the memory keeper- find life after love in yourself:

    “After a break up I prepare myself to go into hibernation. Everything makes me sad and I’m not afraid to hide it.  I would rather get completely over one relationship than risk ruining another because of carried over feelings.  I always try to get myself to hang with my girls more but I find that I’m the most comfortable when I’m on my own just dealing with the problem rather than hiding from it.  I’ve heard that it usually takes about half of the time you were together to get over the person.  I’ve had it take less or more time depending on the relationship. I really think it’s all relative to the person but whoever says they are ready to start dating other people immediately is definitely lying and ruining future relationships.”

    What do you think? Is there a middle ground? How do you get over break ups?

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